Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Why I've Been MIA

Hello my lovelies! I know it's been awhile since my last post and I've also been MIA from my Instagram account as well. I appreciate all of the support I've gotten and that you all have even noticed I've been away! LOL This is obviously not going to be a beauty post and a more personal one, so if you are afraid of my personal life - LOOK AWAY NOW! ;) I've never been shy about sharing much of my personal life, as many of you know,and I feel as if I kind of owe an explanation to my wonderful readers and Instagram followers.

I haven't been on the lam from the law or anything like that! I'm a good girl! (Sort of...) I've been dealing with some happy personal things and a few not so happy ones. I'll tell you the happy news first! WE BOUGHT A NEW HOUSE! It was a process let me tell you! Those of you that follow me on Instagram probably already know this as I've posted just a couple of pictures of our new place. We had to sell our old house and try to close on this one at about the same time. Luckily my husband took care of all the details because I would have completely lost my mind, but it was still weighing on my mind alot and there were things to be done. We are very happy with our new place and I'm thrilled that I have an office space all to myself to have plenty of room to do my photo editing. I am also planning on installing a vanity in here as well so check my Instagram for updates! We are still in the process of settling in and I'm looking forward to getting everything done because my lighting situation is a little wonky in here at the moment...but I do have a lovely view of the pool through my French doors!

Now...the not so happy stuff. Where to begin...at the beginning I guess. I've mentioned this on my IG several times so alot of you know that I struggle with a nerve disease called Restless Leg Syndrome. This is something that showed up in my early 20s and is a hereditary condition. It causes me to feel as if I have "bugs in my bones". It's a difficult feeling to describe. As the years went by it worsened (which this disease does) and it caused my legs to move and jerk and I have no control over it. The only relief I could get was to constantly move my legs. Medication helped for awhile and kept the symptoms at bay but as the disease has progressed the medication doesn't control it as well as it used to. It's now moved into my arms (which happens in severe cases) and it causes my arms to have the same symptoms, including the uncontrollable jerking. This has affected my ability to do my makeup. I haven't had makeup on in awhile because I inevitably will mess it up or jab my eyeball or something. I've tried all of the home remedies, exercise, homeopathic medicine and unfortunately medication is the only thing that has helped. So that is one problem...then something worse happened...

About a year ago I noticed that my feet started to have a pins and needles sensation and also a very painful burning. As more time went by the feelings moved up my legs all the way to my hips and became even more painful. I felt as if someone had dipped my lower body in hot coals. This was a completely different feeling from my RLS symptoms. I went on like this for months and months and finally was sent to a new doctor for further care because this had gotten to the point that I wasn't sleeping and I was a zombie all of the time. This is when I pretty much when I disappeared from my IG and blog. None of the medication I was on gave me any relief. I went through some nerve testing and I finally got a diagnosis yesterday. I have ANOTHER separate nerve condition called Small Fiber Neuropathy. Thankfully it isn't something that will lead to severe nerve damage but there is also no cure. It is a very painful condition that requires heavy duty medication. I also suffer from severe swelling in my legs and feet if I spend too much time sitting at my computer or doing my makeup. I have to wear compression stockings and keep my legs elevated as much as possible. Unfortunately we don't know yet what's causing that. :(

Prior to the diagnosis I was placed on several new meds and one of them has caused me to gain almost 25 pounds in less than two months. Obviously, this has caused me a great deal of unhappiness and depression. I would like to not be on this medication, but right now it's not something I can change. I went from being rather happy with my shape to not being able to fit into any of my clothes. I've gone up 2 sizes and not even my underwear or bras fits anymore! (Which is kind of amusing if you think about it). So...I've had to spend alot of money and buy many new wardrobe items. I will be seeing a physical therapist that will hopefully give me some pain relief and some exercises to help lose some of the weight because it's a big problem for me to have gained so much. I'm a firm believer that size does not make the person, but I'm like many other people...I have body and self-image issues and would prefer to be my old self again.

So, I hope that this was not too long and boring and that I've answered some of the questions you all may have had. There's alot of details and other minor health issues that I didn't go into (hospital visits, etc. because they do affect my absence) but I didn't because I did try to keep this as short as possible. I don't anticipate that I'll be back to my blogging and IG looks in the very near future because this is a daily struggle and I'm exhausted from lack of sleep. I will be focusing on my health for the time being and I hope that you will all bear with me and be there when I can get back to some semblance of my old self again.

I love you all and thank you!!!